For me, the only things good in this movie was the opening scene. Amazingly shot, with a continuous steady camera. Post which, everything in this movie – the title sequence (Seriously, a threesome with an octopus? where is the p.e.t.a, when we need them?) and the plot goes on a downward spiral.
It’s a mess of recycled ideas, put together at the last-minute, without any care or respect to the audience watching it. This film brings us yet another revenge story about someone who shares a history with Bond, but has since turned evil. That was precisely the plot of Skyfall and GoldenEye. Bond gets close to a criminal’s widow, after he shot her husband in the opening sequence. Played by Monica B, who is lifted from the sets of Malena. Speaking of actors who were lifted from other movie sets, we’ve also got Andrew Scott, who plays C (Max Denbigh) basically, making no attempts not to quit his Moriaty mannerism from BBC’s Sherlock. Back to Moncia, if you thought she was going to be the ‘lady of interest’ in this movie, think again. We then find a lot of flat sections, with a few chases, detective sequence. A Good nod to ‘eyes wide shut’ with Bond infiltrating a Spectre meeting. Post which, we’re back to a few action sequences stitched together with bland sections and no development. Bond then gets involved with Mr. White’s daughter, probably half his age, oh yawn, where have we seen this before? What happened to Monica B? Well, she was there for 2 minutes (5 mins actually, but the Indian censor boards chopped it down) and then gone, a total waste of her skills and character/role.
Bond turns out to have a sort of surrogate brother, who is very blond, very German, and very jealous. Oh and he also happens to be a super villain, with an enormous army, who somehow managed to stay absolutely hidden for all these years. Christoph Waltz is a joy to watch, as the head of SPECTRE and one of the most iconic villains of all time, Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Sadly, he is never allowed to be a real threat. The man’s screen time is reduced to just 10-15 mins through the whole movie. Dave Bautista is totally wasted here as well, has just one word through the whole movie! Take that, Groot!
Don’t get me started on Spectre’s ‘hideout’, a meteorite of that size would have made a substantially larger crater than what is shown. This actually felt like a lost episode of ‘MTV Cribs’ with Blofeld taking bond on a tour then tying him down to the ‘torture chair’, conveniently built for this purpose. Of course they leave his watch on his wrist, for brand placements. This again makes no sense considering Spectre would know about Q’s gadets and probably strip him down like they did in Casino Royale. The final sequence ends with Bond taking down a helicopter with a pistol while moving on a boat.
Overall, it’s a very bad movie that you should avoid. Here’s hoping that the next one turns out to be better.
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